In Which Michelle Is Given Relationship Advice By An 11-Year-Old

As a nanny, I am constantly having ridiculous and hilarious conversations with my 8 and 11 year old boys. I make sure however that the conversations are never about me, ya know, so nobody has to get hurt if they cross the line 🙂

Until yesterday, when our conversation took a turn that I wasn’t expecting. I decided to share this humbling experience with you. I will refer to the kids as ‘K’ (11 year old) and ‘J’ (8 year old).

Scene: dining room table, doing homework. Or at least K is; J is playing with his chair and being told repeatedly to sit on his bottom and get to work or so help me, he will regret it. All 3 of us have just finished an impromptu pillow fight, and my appearance is a little worse for the wear.

M: J, sit down and do your math! This is the last time I’m going to tell you. And K, give me back my phone. How did you get that?

K: Oooooh, Miss Michelle has a text from a boy!!

J: Ohhh, you have a boyfriend?!?

*lots of shouting and hooting, me shushing everyone down*

M: No I don’t. Calm down and do your homework.

K: (leaning forward and looking me in the eye) Are you lonely?

M: Um, what? (nervous laughter, not liking where this is going) No I’m not lonely, I have you guys! (more nervous laughter, pause) Why do you say that? Do I look lonely?

K: Yes.

M: (gawking) What?? How do I look lonely??

K: Your hair.

M: (runs hand through hair) What’s wrong with my hair??

K: (looking thoughtfully) Welllll, I would say 25% of why your lonely is your hair. You need to change up your look.

M: (mouth hanging open in disbelief)

A few minutes later, while wrestling with J to get back a pencil, my hair is hit and K shouts, ‘Oh now we’re up to 50%!’

By the time I was about to leave their house, the boys had concluded that my hair was 100% the reason that I am single, and as taken aback -and quite frankly, horrified- as I was, I had to laugh at the  unfounded theories  unabashed honesty of these kids. *sigh* Children can be so silly sometimes!
Hope they like my buzz cut.

THIS is what lonely hair looks like.